25 Things I Wish I Knew Before Having Twins.
Congratulations Mama, if you have just found out you are expecting twins or you are already on your twin pregnancy journey then 25 things I wish I knew before having twins really will help you prepare before your twins are born. Every mom should know at least some of these things before taking twins home. This advice will help you to enjoy your twins more in the early months after birth.
As a twin mama, I really wish I had known what impact these wonderful bundles of joy would make to us. So here I want to share with you what twin life is really like. 25 things that every twin mommy should know before having twins will help you navigate these new additions to your life.
Finding out you are pregnant with twins is a whirlwind rollercoaster of emotions from start to finish. My personal response to being told I was having twins was as follows:
I swore at the Dr, more than once, cried, laughed uncontrollably and cried again all before leaving his office. I was completely hysterical for the entire weekend and I really could not process the information properly.
How Can These 25 Things I Wish I Knew Before Having Twins Help You?
Wow, things are going to change and life as you know it will be very different. A Twin pregnancy is very different to a Singleton pregnancy as is the birth and the arrival of your twins. I say this as a mama of Singletons too as well as multiples. My dad is an identical twin and twins run in our family on my father’s side but I never thought I would have them.
My main advice when reading through the 25 things that I wish I knew before having twins is to always do what makes you happy. Mama, you will find what works for you and your family. Be happy with your choices and don’t let anyone tell you they are wrong. You are going to be a great mom and this list will help you make your own formate that works for you.
Check out My twin birth story below:
Get Help From Family & Friends
There is a saying that goes something like this, ‘It takes a but a village to raise the child’ I think this is true for all children but where twins are concerned the more help the better.
Friends and family that have with you on this journey prior to the birth will be just as excited to see them after they are born. When they come home from the hospital you can share the 25 things to know about twins with them to give them a better awareness.
This will help them understand things may be different once your babies are here and what they can do to help you as a family. Providing others a purpose and role can make them feel special and included.
I was very lucky to move back to be close to the family whilst the girls were still. When our girls were first born we had no one and I mean no one. Isolation was not good for me and my overall health and well being.
Special Family & Friends
We all have family and friends for a reason and we should use them to our full advantage equally. By caring for one another and sharing this amazing experience. The girls enjoyed all the love and attention from us but they brought so much love and joy to others. This is a gift within itself.
Seeing how much love is shared in our family, our wider family, friends and church only made me love them more. Recognizing my older children wanting to care for them and being protective of them when around others was lovely.
Don’t think that it is weak to ask for help or that people think that you can’t cope. Talking about how you feel or what you love or don’t love about being a mom is good. A lot of other moms may well agree when you voice your difficulties.
Master of Multi-Tasking
You will quickly become a master of multi-tasking. Finding a way to juggle not just one but two babies. From bathing, changing, cleaning, cooking, washing and ironing amongst all the other jobs that need doing in the house.
On top of all the other daily tasks that you need to do. You may want or need to go back to work. Or you may have other children vying for your attention too. As well as your husband and other family and friends.
Do what works best for you and what you feel comfortable with. Everyone has there own quirks. I hate a messy house and couldn’t live in a mess. Where others can look past it.
Find Your Twin Tribe
Finding a group of moms that understand your joys, as well as your frustrations, will really help you as a mom. We all need a special person that understands how we feel and why?
Singleton life really is very different to a Multiply one. I don’t mean this to say they have it easy and you will have it hard. However, there is a difference in caring for two babies and not just one. One can be just as much work as two sometimes!!
I wish I knew what equipment I would need or not need before having twins. There is a lot of equipment shown in retail outlets and magazines when it comes to twins. You don’t necessarily need two of every single thing.
Twins are expensive enough but when you have to buy two of everything it soon adds up quickly. You are best to buy two of the essentials. You can then be more conscious when buying other items depending on your budget.
My Pushchair Is My New BFF
I never knew how much I could use my pushchair to help me inside. We lived in a 1 storey house so this really helped when using the stroller. At bath time, sleep time, night time any time in the early months. I would you my pushchair to more around the house with both girls in tow.
Find a pushchair that you love and that will grow with your twins as they get bigger. It really is an essential item. Make sure that it will fit in your house as well as your car. This can occasionally be overlooked. You don’t want to be struggling for space when going food shopping, outings or trips away.
Contrary to popular belief twins are not buy on get one free. I already knew this before having twins. I think it was everyone else that had forgot it.
Random people would say to me two for the price of one you are so lucky! It was defiantly and always will be two for the price of two. From Dr and delivery to equipment, clothing and nappies everything was more expensive. There was no reductions or special deals.
One Is Easier
So everyone believe that it’s so much harder with two. But sometimes its really not. Yes there is more washing and feeding, changing and so on but there are some plus points.
Twins have a unique bond. They have to learn to wait as you only have one pair of hands. Also, they learn to share or stand up for themselves? They always have a friend and their bond is so special.
Sometimes I would look at friend’s and think they had a tougher time than me with one. They would see it the other way or would even compare themselves and say I don’t know how you do it?
I am not superwoman just take one day at a time. I am also blessed to have a great family. My husband and the children would also help and loved to do things with the girls. This creates a great family bond.
As moms, we will all encounter problems big and small. It doesn’t matter how many children we have they are all unique and have there own personal quirks just as we do. It’s blending us all together as a family that’s what makes it fun just as much as frustrating.
Let It Go
Be prepared to let certain things go. You will know what sits easy with you and what doesn’t. Many times I read that just leave the housework and washing. This always makes me shudder. For me, this is not something I could let go whereas I may leave some other chores instead more easily.
I am a control freak and I have no problem saying it. A clean and tidy home is what I love. This is getting harder to maintain now the twins are getting older. I am however persevering and I even encourage them to help me now with certain tasks and they love it.
Patience Is A Virtue
If you don’t have patience you will develop them whilst pregnant with twins and definitely after they are born. Whilst pregnant you have to have patients with your body as you can’t do everything you once did.
After you have had them you have to have patience with your body and give it time to heal and grow strong again. You have to have patience with their routine and feeding, weaning, bathing and all the other little tasks.
‘Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while waiting’Joyce Meyer
Even with a routine in place, you will find yourself a lot of the time just winging it for want of a better phrase. Seeing what works with your two little treasures. Routine helps a lot but sometimes you really have to make an in the moment plan.
All By Myself + Two Small Humans
So you may be worried about the fact that at some point you may be left alone with not one but two tiny humans that are dependant on you for everything. Whether your children go to nursery or school or your husband goes back to work after paternity leave you shouldn’t be scared.
I think this is when a routine comes into its own. If you can give yourself a framework to structure your day by it makes it a lot easier and keeps you focused on what needs to be done and when you should rest. It can help you get out of the house to meet others or get in some daily exercise or fresh air. ou can fit this in around asleep time as the walk will be just as good for your little ones as it is for you.
Going out may feel like a military operation, to begin with. You will forget things. You will always need something but you will quickly learn what is essential to your outings and what you need for different lengths of time. Before you know it you will have it down to a fine art and you will carry everything needed to win a battle or should I say a trip out!
It is a really good idea to give yourself some personal space every day. Whether this is to go to the bathroom and shower in peace. Read a book, journal or pray for 5 mins or 30 mins, you just need a bit of space to relax and breath and do something you enjoy.
Self-care as a mama is really important and it is easily forgotten during the day to day activities. You will be busy looking after everyone but you need to remember to look after yourself too. Self-care is needed for your overall physical and mental health and well being.
For more self-care check out https://www.thismamaprays.com/self-care-for-moms/
Exercise is not my favourite word but neither is being stuck indoors. Fresh air and exercise can really do you the world of good. When I was on my own in those early months. Walking really helped me to heal from the c-section but also to just get outside. he girls would sleep and I knew I had a certain amount of time to walk. I would even try and meet up with other moms if I could.
Living in a place you don’t know is never easy. getting back in shape will also help you cope with the demands that two little ones bring. You will be able to lift a lot more weight than you used to with practice and you will be running around after two in a short space of time. My twins are always on the go and very active.
there are definitely some essential items that I would recommend to any twin mom. a cot or travel cot is got in the early months and they can sleep side by side back to back. as they get bigger whilst I love a beautiful cot a found that a Montessori bed was brilliant for the girls.
As above I loved my pushchair and used it all the time. car seats are necessary for any journey and can double as a rocker if need be. I had one bouncy chair which they shared and one play mat. a changing station that is at a good height is great too.
I was able to use the travel cot in the lounge when needed which also helped with the girls. a feeding cushion was helpful not just for the girls but for myself after the c-section. any extra padding helps you feel more protected and safe while your body heals.
I don’t know where I would have been if I hadn’t have used a routine. keeping the girls on the same schedule rally helped me and my family to adjust to twin life. The routine also helps the girls to grow and develop.
After NICU the routine gave me personal comfort and helped me to maintain continuity for them. I think if one was awake and the other asleep and then one feeding and the other doing something else I would have been frazzled. The routine gave me clear times when to change, eat, sleep, repeat. Babies sleep a lot during those early weeks and this is when you can get into your flow whilst also resting too.
However, if something doesn’t work for you then just change it. the routine also helped me spot problems from my diary I kept for the girls feeds and nappy changed etc.
In this whirlwind of twin pregnancy, birth and beyond don’t forget who you are and what makes you special? yes you are a mom but you are still YOU! and that is really important. Do something you enjoy. fill up your cup daily as this will make you an even better mom.
In the early days, I hated shopping. I couldn’t get into the shops let alone get to all the things I needed. I felt like I was on an assault course with the girls in tow. Everyone stares at you. You feel like you have a second head and that’s before the twins start crying.
People think they are somehow allowed to touch them and poke them and ask also sorts of questions. Or pass comments regardless of how it sounds or if you hear them.
You will be busy there is no doubt about it. You will have washing coming out of your ears. There will be piles of ironing, you will be feeding them a lot. Bathing, clothes changing and an endless session of nappy changing or catching sick.
Most of the time it will be fun you will have bad days I can’t lie about that but that’s when you give yourself some grace and talk to someone near or dear to you. Read more about twins with https://www.thismamaprays.com/5-top-tips-for-bringing-newborn-twins-home-from-nicu/
You will have to learn to make some allowances. you do not wonder woman and neither am I. However I can occasionally put on my pants over my trousers but that’s normally by accident.
You need to give your self grace each and every day. You will get things wrong. Something will happen and you can’t beat yourself up emotionally for every single thing.
I love Twins and Coffee and how Lynneah talks about herself, her twins, motherhood and her mental health. She talks frankly and openly about acknowledging how you feel and being ok with that. I think moms need to hear this. We have even more pressures placed on us in this increasingly modern world which can also be detrimental to our mental health. We need to embrace our imperfections rather than trying to judge others to make ourselves feel better. There is strength in our weakness.
The Worst Mom In The World Day.
I remember my daughter having awful nappy rash and try as I might I could not get rid of it. After feeling like a complete failure, I took her to the Health Practitioner. I found out that the formula that both girls were drinking was the cause of the problem for Cammie.
She had eczema and she need a soya-based milk too as her current milk was making her nappy rash/ eczema worse. This made me feel like the worst mother in the world that day and I cried so much as I hadn’t realised. We are all imperfect however hard we try. Its how we tackle the problem once we know what it is causing the issue.
The point to remember here is even on your worst day you are still an amazing mama. You are working so hard for you children. Teaching them, loving them and inspiring them without even realising it. Give yourself some grace. Tomorrow is another day.
Involve Loved Ones
Making family and friends feel part of your little one’s lives can bring them just as much joy as it does you. They will love watching them grow with you and helping where they can.
Those that help will give you rest when needed and feel even more valued that you trust them to support you. This also gives your children even more special memories with the truly special people in our lives. Tell them what your routine is or how they can help and praise their efforts. Let them know how much you appreciate their help.
If they have already been on your pregnancy journey with you then don’t stop there let them in on the whole rollercoaster adventure. The good ones will stick around for all the fun.
Out of all of the 25 things I wish I had known before having twins this has to be the worst. It has to be said that when you tell someone you’re having twins they can ask you the most stupid or personal questions possible.
Once the babies are born they get a whole lot worse. You can get mad, you can ignore them or you can laugh and tell them anything and they will believe you. My favourite was are they boys when dressed in pink from head to toe. My husband would get cross when replied yes!!
I think faith can work on main levels as a parent. You will have to have faith in your abilities. Faith that you can do this and that you are strong enough both mentally and physically.
Belief that God choose you to be their mother as He knew that they needed you and your special one of a kind love. You have to have faith that you were created with a purpose for a purpose. Faith that you will always have enough of everything because God will always provide everything that we ask for.
So the last thing on my 25 things I wish I knew before having twins and by no means the least. I hope that you are still looking forward to having twins. Whilst some of the things on this list may make you wonder is this really what it’s like? I left the best bit till last. There are no words to describe the overwhelming joy you will feel as your babies enter this world. There will be nothing that you will not do for them and nothing you will not be for them.
You will see double the smiles, double the laughs, double the hugs and kisses, double the first of every special moment that there is. Nothing can beat this. Not all the times they wake you up, get thrown up on or listen to them cry for what feels like hours on end.
That one smile or in their case two is the best feeling in the whole world and you as a twin mama are truly blessed for this adventure. Find joy with them every single day.
Is there any other things that you would add to this list please leave a comment below if you do or if this post helped you i would love to know what things really stood out.